To be a better man

Sometimes I am so confident and positive, that I believe I have everything except a perfect mindset. I am handsome, I am content, I almost have all I need, and those I want are something I can give up. If, If I can get my mindset right, I am PERFECT yah!

I always want to know how to live instead of how to earn a living. It is arrogant to say money is not my first concern, even though  I am not rich and I spend usually.... but um....I am flexible to adjust my material life. Have it, great. Can't own it, okay fine.

But I love to learn how to live like a wise man. How to change my mind, to have a healthy diet, to exercise, to learn about human nature, to listen youtube that inspire you. I just want to be a better person. A person who can active change his mindset so he don't give a damn about this world, but feel great for who he is and what he have.

I can't have everything. And something are just not mine, no matter how I change.

I am not discouraged. I try my best to remind myself, let it go, let it be. I have my own mission.

I start changing myself buy listen less sad canton pop, which seems has effect on my sensitive soul. I try to be less sentimental, less cynical. I try to dress a little bit better, care what I eat, care about hygiene etc. Although nothing have significant change, however I believe it will come finally.

You can't change your past, you can't undo what you have done. But you can start change your present, even only for a day, you have lived a better day.

I also learned that I can't push myself to hard. All of these improvement act should come naturally. Just try. And if you feel good you will keep trying.

I am not an extrovert. And I am shy and not that active in create conversation. With my imperfect and evil mind, I am reluctant to express who I really am. I guess it takes time, although opportunities won't wait for me.

I am imperfect, and I am not looking for a perfect person, nor a perfect life. I just try to improve myself so it makes sense for me to pursuit a better person and a better life. Life is about give and take. I give something I am happy to give, and be grateful for what life reward. I can't have everything, I know I CAN but such thinking just pressure me way too hard.

Am I masculine? Am I confident? I could not completely ignore how others think of me. I will try though.

"When you have control, you are happier." And I am increasing my control in life, bit by bit. I want to be a happy man, and a man who make the others happy. I mean truly happy. I don't want to be a shit nice guy. I want to be a great nice guy who could shit other when I decide to.

You will become a better person if you start changing today. You will. you will.